I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
