i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
