I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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