she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize