This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
