This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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