You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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