He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
