i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
