yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
barbara walters just said penis...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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