Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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