wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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