She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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