woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
