he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
