remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
