I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
