I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize