Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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