Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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