I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
