Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
