smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
