My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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