I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
