I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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