he shaved USA in his pubs
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
