yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
