just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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