oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
