They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
