Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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