Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
