so explain again why im purple
no
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
