when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
