There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
