Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
