It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize