My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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