Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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