Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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