That's intense
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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