Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
