I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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