i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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