I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
