WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I party with great urgency now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
