Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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