jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
