Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
sex in a hospital.. check
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
