dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
