My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
