I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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