Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
