You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
