I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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