i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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