I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize