I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
