they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
