I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
the raccoons are back...
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