check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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