There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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