All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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