I wish I could teleport
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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