He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
