i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
